Yesterday, I called in “sick” to the volunteer job. But, as we old women do, this morning I put on my sensible shoes and carried on. I went to the volunteer job today. My coworkers figured I would be there. They had flowers for me. Peonies. It pays to show up for life.
Came home this afternoon, Tuesday being Carlton’s volunteer afternoon, I was home alone. So, I put the flowers in the window and played with the new camera. (It was raining. That is why indoors.) The camera takes 3D pictures. Only thing is, you need a 3D television to see them. The camera is from Panasonic and Panasonic makes 3D TVs. Do you think there might be a connection? Really?
Nothing has changed with the family. Carlton and I are saddened by the departure of our daughter from our family circle. I morn her departure, but, I am better for having had her in my life for the last three plus decades.
I have been mourning the loss for over 5 years. Carlton never wanted me in his life and neither did Peg, She tried and overcame a lot of “mom” fear and ended up being my best friend. She just wanted to please her husband and not make waves, but in the end it meant that I lost my best friend. Carlton never wanted me in his life and if he pretended to morn my loss – it was an act. He booted my brother out of the family when he was just a kid. And just looked at kids as burdens – because they cost money.
I miss my best friend. But maybe she never was. Perhaps it was just to please Carlton to try and like me. She never is grateful for me, just my kids – that I gave the family – not Carlton.
I have tried to call, text, voicemail – she doesn’t care at all to have anything to do with me. I really wanted to try to put this behind us. I miss her.